This is being passed around the net. Thought you all might get a laugh or two out of it. It came to me from Banachek, the most amazing mind-reader I've ever seen (but how does he do it without psychic powers ... ?)

19 Keeps shaking black "crystal ball," then saying, "Ask again later."

18 Tells you you're going to die but doesn't exactly know when or how.

17 Every time you draw the Death card, she yells "Go Fish!"

16 Looks suspiciously like that guy who fixed your muffler last week.

15 Brunswick insignia on "crystal ball."

14 His idea of an "out of body experience" involves whipped cream and women's clothing.

13 Instead of a Oujia board, has a Wedgie board.

12 During seance, shouts in voice of Wolfman Jack, "Milli Vanilli will be back!"

11 His spoon bending requires two pliers.

10 Sign in window: "As Seen on '60 Minutes.'"

9 During card-reading, asks if you want to "hit" or "stand."

8 Insists that your astrological sign is "The Armadillo."

7 Psychics Magazine rates her just below fortune cookies, just above your mom.

6 Repeatedly attempts to read your palm with his genitalia.

5 Shakes her crystal ball, then predicts a large snowstorm.

4 Easily fooled by 'Can of Snakes' gag.

3 Sonics in 4.

2 "Ethereal Aroma of the Kindred Spirits" effect during seance only occurs after a chili-dog lunch.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Psychic Is a Phony...

1 Just keeps saying in his Mr. T voice, "My prediction: Pain!"